every day is roomies day

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Let-me-in-girl

Last night, I was woken up by some debauchery on 24th street -- which is usually not worth a blog post of any kind. The girl who woke me up was different. She was violent! She was angry! She was vulgar! She hated people (one *very* unlucky person in particular)! This one was worth saying awake for. Not that I had a choice.

It went kind of this:

Let-me-in-girl: "Let me IN MOTHERF***ER! uuuuuUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAARGH!!! Let me IN! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!! PICK UP YOUR F*ING PHONE!"

Let-me-in-girl: "Let me IN! F***! OH MY GAWD!!!"

After some time, she would try and walk somewhere -- I say try because she only ever made it about few wobbly steps before using the wall to help her down to the ground. Her demeanor changed when she was on the ground -- she was more sad and muffled. Oh right, not really muffled. Maybe just... lower to the ground.

Let-me-in-girl: "UUUggggggggh"
Let-me-in-girl: "UUUUUUUUUgggggh"
Let-me-in-girl: "Oh my gawd. Oh my gawd. I HATE YOU YOU MOTHERF***CKER!!!"

Then she would get up in an overwhelming rage and resume the cycle, climbing on the door, clanking, yelling, etc.
The cycle was consistent and continuous, with just a small number of variations:

(1) At one point she carefully threw her shoes, one at a time, over the doorway (which was just beyond reach of a drunken climb).
(2) She would occasionally change her tactics and attempt to ask nicely: "Please help me, you stupid f***?"
(3) She found an alternate door which led into the buildling, and tried to kick it down.
(4) She made it a car in front of the buildling, and tried to get inside (it was locked).

She had me completely stumped. Who was this girl? Did she even know anybody in side at all? Was she at the wrong house? Or maybe this was a date gone wrong -- they had plans to go upstairs together to his place, but they both got to drunk and he went up without her, forgetting she was there. Maybe she was from out of town, visiting a friend, and really had nowhere else to go, and didn't know her way around the city? Could she have been working, and lingering to collect?

One thing was for sure: this was not a girl who was comfortable with the idea of spending the night on the street. And she was not in the frame of mind to come up with any creative "plan b"s. She was going to get inside that building: or else.

She must have known the police would come. I'm sure of this because my neighbor yelled out of her window "You're going to have to quiet down, or I'm calling the cops", to which she responded by loudly singing a song, with all the real words swapped out with "uhhhs" and "f***s".

However, when the police arrived, she seemed shocked (this is after an hour and a half of solid yelling and screaming). She spoke much more quietly to them, so I couldn't hear the details of the words exchanged. I did hear her confess that she had been drinking but she absolutely had not been "wandering around" as the neighbor had claimed.

She told them, no, you don't need to take me anywhere, I can get in. I could not believe this. She was going to try and trick the cops into leaving -- she even walked all the way to the door with her purse and started trying the keys that she had one by one in the door. You could see the cops smirking -- this was an insane tactic which was only delaying her destiny of getting into that police car.

Then I got my answer. Excited, I hear her say "Oh, you know what?...", and she tries a new key in the door. One that works. And she enters her apartment. Where she lives. Across the street from me.

I cannot imagine what let-me-in-girl's hangover must have been like this morning.

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