dream not dream

One of these things is not like the others,
One of these things just doesn't belong.
Can you tell which thing is not like the others
By the time I finish my song?


I went to visit Jaffar in the desert, where there was a motorcycle race course. One of the obstacles in the course was an enormous piece of wood, like made by aliens or the work of slaves for generations enormous. Jaffar had the corner apartment with a view, and when we were inside I could see that it wasn't actually a single piece of wood but rather a million tiny logs held together by elastic cords. There were hollows inside that we slung through, but we had to be very very qwiet because his parents were asleep in the next hollow over.

We were playing in a battle of the bands for some charity event at a bar, but instead of real bands it was a Rock Band battle. At first the audio-video calibration was off and we got booed off the stage. We made kissy faces at the judges though and got a second chance, where we rocked and made it into the finals. Jamo wore his Cinco de Mustache and had a giant cucumber stuffed in his pants. In the finals Zhi played the guitar solo to More Than a Feeling with his tongue, and got a 100% on it. The judges overlooked us in the final decision though, giving the win to a bunch of tranny guys in strapless dresses who didn't shave their armpits.

I went to a Burger King for the Mother's Day special, but they must've mixed up my order because I just got a regular double cheeseburger. "That cheeseburger is poisoning America" Crank tells me matter-of-factly. At that point I saw next door a McDonalds with a big sign for their Mother's Day special, which was an eleventy-patty burger. We went over but couldn't get in because the doors were blocked by waffle fries from floor to ceiling.